The eyes get me every time

Turns out, you really can forgive almost anything.  A few days ago Dogzilla conspired with Horse Dog, Doberman Destroyer, to dig underneath the chicken coop.  She was the physical labor, Dogzilla was the chicken killer.  He killed my Marans hen and badly hurt my speckled Sussex hen as well.  I was so angry that if someone had offered me a wooden nickel for both dogs I would have taken it without a second thought.  I’ve been mad, at Dogzilla in particular, for several days now.  And he knows it.  Tonight he climbed up on the couch next to me, all 150+ lbs of him and laid his head on my knee, looking at me with the saddest puppy dog eyes I’ve ever seen.  So of course I forgave him.  I love him even if he’s a big chicken-eating duffus.  But I did let him know that next time he touches a chicken we will have big problems.  Big.  Dumb dog.

Pass the xanax, please

342: approximately the number of times this morning that I’ve ‘reminded’ the kids to stop fighting.  Maybe there’s something to this Friday the 13th business after all.  They’ve argued over cardboard boxes (apparently there is a correct and incorrect way to imprison one’s sibling in one), whose Lunchable is whose, which cup they should each drink from, how close their feet are to each other’s on the couch (my personal favorite), and about 18,443 other things that matter to no one.  Bossypants is home from school for the second day in a row due to teacher ‘in-service’ workdays.  That means today equals one day longer than she and Little Man can feasibly coexist without imminent meltdown.  Despite it being freezing cold outside I have bundled them up and sent them out to annoy the goats and chickens, may the powers-that-be help them.  The goats and chickens, that is.

Glade House Party Sneak Peek

The FedEx truck brought something exciting today–my Glade ‘Design the Air’ House Party pack!  If you’re not familiar with House Party you really need to go and take a look at their website.  This is the first House Party I’ve been selected for in a few years so I’m pretty excited.  Here’s a little sneak peek of the goodies, more on party day in a few weeks.

Hotel California…

Something I couldn’t have foreseen 10 years ago has recently been rattling around in my brain.  I want a job.  10  years ago I was in the military and fed up that I didn’t get to spend enough time with my husband and kids.  Being at home all day sounded like the BEST THING EVER.  Oh, how I laugh at 10-years-ago me.  I was so naive.  I thought spending time with the under-5 crowd all day sounded super fun.  And for a while it was.  We made crafts, I cooked a lot, we cuddled.  It slowly devolved into a mind-numbing groundhog day-esque existence where everything was the same, every day.  Now a good day is when I wear my socks right-side out.  Bonus points if they match.

I gently approached the topic of mommy getting a job while everyone was at the dinner table the other night and the effect was quite dramatic.  Bossypants actually cried, Boyscout laughed, and Little Man informed me that ‘you belong to me, mama’.  The problem of course being that Little Man is still at home–he won’t be in kindergarten until next fall.  Boy Scout works crazy and unpredictable hours that would make it difficult if not impossible to count on him for childcare and let’s face it, paying for childcare would kind of defeat the purpose.  Which all adds up to NO SOUP FOR YOU.  Job, that is.

I need out, people!  Somebody send me a hacksaw in a krispy kreme.  Or just forget the saw and send the Krispy Kreme.  If I can’t actually escape to a job I can put myself in a sugar coma and drift along until Little Man gets to kindergarten.

“You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave….”

Bang Bang Baby

I got a gun for Christmas.  A sweet little .380 pink Taurus.  Today was the first day that I got to take it to the range and shoot and it was so nice.  There’s something very primal about holding a gun and knowing you could defend yourself with it.  I do a lot of my grocery shopping late at night at a 24 hour grocery that isn’t in the best neighborhood.  It’s the best time to go because I can go while the kids are asleep and Boy Scout is home (which pretty much limits to late hours) and I don’t have to hurry. Downside is the seedy neighborhood so Boy Scout talked me into getting a handgun.  I’m not sure he was thrilled that I chose a pink one, but hey.  I couldn’t resist, it’s cute!  Speaking of grocery shopping, don’t miss tomorrow’s Sunday paper with a possible 6 coupon inserts!

Montagne Jeunesse

I received the cutest little Fruit Smoothie face mask from Montagne Jeunesse in my complimentary Influenster Holiday Vox-Box.  I see these frequently at Walgreens, Wal-Mart, and CVS.  My 6 year old daughter is obsessed with face masks and beauty products in general, so she immediately glommed onto this and begged until I agreed to do a face mask with her.  She applied it to both of us and it was a lot of fun–it smelled fantastic and left both of us with silky smooth skin.  Of course she has perfect baby skin anyways, but she really had a great time doing this with me.  More information about Montagne Jeunesse can be found on their official website at http://www.montagnejeunesse.com The official word on Montagne Jeunesse as provided by Influenster:

 

 

Fun, pampering beauty treats

 

Whether you enjoy looking after your skin, being pampered, or indulging in some me-time, be it alone or with friends, you will absolutely enjoy one of these ‘Life Little Pleasures’… With a huge array to choose from, our face masques are packed with the most delicious natural ingredients and are bursting with luscious fragrances. Suitable for all different skin types, there is one to suit every mood and everybody!

 

Montagne Jeunesse beauty treats are free of parabens, vegetarian approved and never tested on animals. So treat yourself today to a masque that will hydrate, nourish and leave your skin cleansed, smooth and glowing. Available at ULTA Beauty, Walgreen’s, Claire’s, Walmart, Kroger, CVS Pharmacies and other retailers across the US, these masques are available in a variety of succulent flavours, including:

 

• Cucumber Peel Off
• Passion Peel Off
• Dead Sea Mud
• Fruit Smoothie
• Strawberry Souffle
• Chocolate Mud
• And many more!

NYC New York Color

I recently received a complimentary NYC Liquid Lipshine in ‘Nude York City’ as part of my Influenster holiday Vox-Box.  This is a fantastic gloss to toss in your purse for a quick touch-up.  The color is a nice neutral nude that has a similar consistency to a MAC Lipglass but at a much more inexpensive price point.  It applies with a flexible doe’s foot applicator and has a pleasant cocoa-y vanilla scent that I like.  It gives a nice shine and MLBB appearance but if you’re looking for it to cover your lip color you will want to choose a different shade.  My pigmented lips still peek out from underneath this, but I don’t mind that.  This is a sticky gloss, again reminiscent of MAC’s Lipglasses, that you will want to reapply after eating or drinking.  You can find more information about NYC on their official website at  http://www.newyorkcolor.com/  The official word on NYC as provided by Influenster:

NYC New York Color Liquid Lipshine

Straight from the city that never sleeps, NYC New York Color offers products with uptown style at down-to-earth prices, from $.99 – $4.99. The energy, style and color of New York City shines through the wide range of shades, textures and innovative products. NYC always delivers the most on-trend products & shades hot off the runway!

 

A beauty-editor favorite is Liquid Lipshine ($2.49). It has pure pigments that created a 3-D gloss effect. Vitamin E provides shine and a moisturizing feel. The formula is non-sticky, super shiny & soft. Available in 10 on-trend shades from neutral nudes, to berries & fuchsias. Start shopping for NYC at these stores nearest you: Walmart, Target, Rite Aid, CVS, Family Dollar, Duane Reade, Kmart, HEB, and others.  Visit newyorkcolor.com to check out all shades and fun products from New York Color!

imPRESS Press-on Manicure

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted a new entry, but I wanted to tell you guys about the imPRESS Press-on Manicure that I received in my Influenster Holiday Vox-Box.  Influenster provides an opportunity for registered members to test complimentary products and samples and then review them.  I recently qualified for my very first Vox-box and received a selection of complimentary holiday goodies to test.  Included in the box was imPRESS Press-On Manicure in the color ‘Ex On The Beach’.  My first impression was that the color they sent was not one I would normally choose.  I liken it to ‘old lady mauve’.  If you like mauves then this is a very nice one, it’s just not a color I personally enjoy.  Looking over the included flier I could see that they make some seriously adorable colors and patterns, though.  The nails themselves are very good quality.  The sizes are nice–I usually have a hard time finding nails that include a range of sizes small enough but these were great.  One thing I definitely do not like is the ‘press and stick’ adhesive applicators.  Those went straight in the trash and I used my own nail glue.  I was left with a cute, easy, affordable, and durable alternative to painted nails or expensive salon acrylics/gels.  I can’t wait to try these in different colors and patterns!  You can find more information about imPRESS at their website, http://impressmanicure.com/  Here is the official word on imPRESS, provided by Influenster:

imPRESS Press-On Manicure

This changes everything!

Introducing imPress Press-On Manicure by Broadway Nails, the revolutionary way to apply polish! Featuring advanced nail technology, you can get a salon-perfect manicure in seconds – simply peel off, press on, and you’re done. There’s no drying, a killer shine and a manicure that lasts up to a week! And, imPress is so easy to remove, you can change it up to match your mood as often as you want. Check out all 36 colors and patterns, including trendy brights, classic darks and animal prints. With imPress, your nails will always be your best accessory.

 

imPress Manicure retails for $5.99 for colors and $7.99 for patterns, and is available at CVS, Rite Aid, Duane Reade, KMart, Walgreens, Walmart and more. For a full list of online and in-store retailers, visit imPressManicure.com, where you can download an exclusive coupon and virtually try on all the colors and patterns!

Guest blogger: Dispatch from the Luckiest Girl in the World

At the risk of sounding like a bad Ashton Kutcher movie… Dude. I kind of couldn’t believe it when I read that I’d won Beautysleeping’s first giveaway (thank you, random number generator!), and I was really pleased that I’d chosen the surprise — I love surprises!

Well I didn’t think too much more about it until a mysterious box arrived in my mailbox. Even then, I didn’t put two and two together. I was confused to find the world’s smallest, cutest Sephora box, containing a Starbucks card… and a note from one of my favorite bloggers, congratulating me on my win! Aha! The box was filled with an assortment of adorably wrapped, color coordinating goodies — each sealed with a K sticker (for Karla, of course). If I were a patient person, I would have thought to take a picture of the lovely ensemble before I ripped them all open… patience has never been my strong suit.

A minute and a half later, I was sitting in front of a pack of amazing, hand-picked-just-for-me goodies, including a Estee Lauder High Gloss (have you tried these? They’re fabulous), a pack of Bobbi Brown blotting sheets, and… the coup d’grace… a brand new YSL eyeshadow quint! I’ve been dreaming about this for months! I think angels sang when I opened the compact!

Beautysleeping, I can’t believe you financed this giveaway yourself. And thank you so, so much for going to such lengths to find this perfect prize.

Karla

What I Learned This Weekend

Lessons:

*  If you ever have a few hours and a few brain cells to kill, try to explain the internet to a 3 year old.

*  Look inside the toaster before you plug it in.  You never know when a sneaky preschooler might decide it needs a rubber band in it.  And then you’ll be sad when you’re eating rubber-scented Pop Tarts.

*  You can be 100% sure that if you put on a clean white shirt either your child or your dog will reward you with a muddy paw or a sticky hand (or both if it’s your lucky day) within the first five minutes.  Bonus smart points for you if you’re such a genius that you go put on another clean white shirt after the first one gets trashed.

Beauty find:

*  My skin is irritable right now due to Retin-A and I’ve been digging through every product I own to look for something soothing.  A friend sent me a sample jar of Shiseido’s Future Solution Total Revitalizing Cream a while back and it’s the only thing I’ve been able to put on my face in the last two days that doesn’t feel like a bath of gasoline and lit matches.  Alas, the full size carries a price tag which I fear would send Boy Scout to an early grave (either from shock or apoplexy) if I seriously entertained the idea of purchasing a jar.  I’ll put it on the list of things to buy if we ever have more disposable income than we know what to do with.  As if.